Do you ever feel this way? Completely inadequate for the job God has called you to? I know I do. I used to feel this way often in my role as a parent until Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo taught me how to be a better parent. I still feel this way at times, but I keep going back to the truth of God’s word and the biblical principles that the Ezzo’s taught me. No matter how inadequate I feel, I am reminded that God entrusted these children to me and he is bigger than any feeling I have. He will either make up for my shortcomings or he will equip me more than he already has for the task. But this is what I do know. I am inadequate without him!
The season I am currently in is different however. This feeling of inadequacy seems to be where I live lately. I can't seem to shake it. God is calling me way out of my comfort zone professionally and I don’t feel equipped for the task. As I was sitting with my boss the other day, I began telling him how unequipped I feel. Honestly I thought he was going to confirm for me that I am not the right person for the job and fire me; or at the very least demote me. But as any great leader does, he simply encouraged me. He said “Allison, you are in a good place right now”. “You are right where Joseph was when he was sent to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams. Joseph’s response to Pharaoh was I can’t interpret your dreams, but God can. Allison, you can’t do your job adequately. Neither can I, but God can”.
I also feel inadequate and ill equipped to write this book that I know with every ounce of my being that God has called me to write. I can’t remember the last time I felt so confident about something. But feeling confident about God’s calling and feeling confident about our ability to accomplish it are two very different things. In Exodus chapters 3 and 4 Moses is at the burning bush where God is calling him to go rescue the Israelites from Egypt. I am convinced that Moses was confident that God was speaking to him. How could he not be sure when the bush was on fire yet was not being burned by the flames, but Moses still responded with “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?” Moses! One of the greatest men in history, responded with I am not equipped God! So I guess I am in good company. God then responds with several signs and wonders to show Moses what he will do in Egypt and Moses still pleads with God in chapter 4 verse 13: “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.” That is exactly how I feel sometimes. While I am humbled that God would choose me to parent these children, to serve him in ministry and to write this book, sometimes it is so overwhelming that I want to plead with him to choose someone else because I just can’t do it, however as my boss reminded me, I can’t, but God can.
What is God calling you to do that you feel unequipped to accomplish? Is he calling you to parent, to be a great spouse, to go on a mission trip, to witness to your neighbor? He calls each of us to something different because we are each one part of the body of Christ and each part has a different job to do. Even if it is the same job, he calls us to do it differently. That is how he displays his uniqueness and creativity.
Through this season I have learned that if God calls us he will equip us and our only job is to respond. God equips us for our calling by allowing us to bear fruit as we become more like him, but we must stay attached to the vine so that our fruit doesn’t wither and die. No matter how we feel about the calling and no matter how much we wrestle with God about it, our answer should be “Here I am God”. That response still intimidates me but I trust that God will take care of the details in the midst of my obedience. I can promise you this; no matter how you feel about the task, if you obey, he will not let you down! God wants to use every one of us to show others his power through the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. He is calling you my friend; the question is what are you going to do about it?
Dear Heavenly Father. Thank you that you do have a calling for my life. Thank you that I can trust you even when it feels overwhelming. I believe that you have and will continue to equip me for your calling and I will respond with "Here I am LORD". In Jesus Name ~ Amen!
Allison ~ www.allisonherrin.com